Frankly speaking, I am weary about making new year’s resolutions. I did it before and it didn’t work most of the time. I don’t know where the fault lies. Perhaps it was just me who never understood the meaning of the word ‘resolve’, the verb from which the noun ‘resolution’ is derived. ‘To resolve’, as the dictionary would tell us, means a definite decision to do something. That part, I did understand. What I didn’t understand was how this ‘definite decision’ would not always translate into a process that reaches its destination. That’s what makes me weary. It makes me feel guilty, weak and embarrassed when I could not stay in the course that I had set to reach a destination that I had wanted to reach.
Of course I could always make up excuses for my failure. But the blame would always be pointed at me: the initiator and the actor. External factors may play a part in preventing a set goal from being reached. But the agency is an active and intelligent being. He should be able to resolve any problems found and overcome any obstacles encountered in his effort to reach his goal. Anything to the contrary is culpability, a weakness and an embarrassment.
That’s why over the years I have learned that new year’s resolutions need not be made public. Let it be known only to you and the closest people to you, people that you care and who care about you, so that that you will not be unnecessarily be judged by strangers as being guilty, weak and feel embarrassed when you fall short of achieving the goal you have set for yourself. People closest to you know better who you are and what your circumstances are to pass an unfair judgment. They are also more likely to provide the support and encouragement you need to realize your goal.
It is true that making your resolutions public may be able to add a push to your efforts in realizing your goal. The public’s eye may strengthen your resolve by making you pawn your pride for their approval or disapproval of the end results. However, unlike the people who are closest to you and who know you better, the public is likely to be more judgmental to your failings than say your husband, wife, or children; and less likely to be so kind as to offer you support and consolation for any setback you experience.
Given these pros and cons, keeping your new year’s resolutions to yourself and the people closest to you is, I think, a better choice for the sake of your own welfare.
Let me know if you agree with this.
It’s Sunday, the last day of the extended new year’s weekend here. After the holiday seasons, I think it’s time we get mentally ready for the work week ahead.