Why Do I Blog? (A Rather Unusual Confession)

Written by Eki Qushay Akhwan

I don’t know exactly how many posts  are out there in the web with that title. My Google search with exactly those strings of words indicate that there are nearly four billions (that’s 4 followed by nine zeros behind it!) entries which contain those words!

Amazing, isn’t it?

I guess every blogger has posted an entry with that title at least once in their blogging life. Every one of them, I’m sure, has their own reasons/answers to that question. Quite a few would probably be the same, and I would not be surprised if many would be quite generic.

With similar entries numbering more than a half of the world’s current population, I am sure this post of mine will not be indexed and placed somewhere decent by the search engines. But it doesn’t matter. It’s more important that I write it and publish it, so that at least it’s there for the record: “Hey! I’m a blogger! I’ve been a blogger! And I have these reasons for blogging.”

So, what are those reasons?

I’ll start with something a bit unusual: I like seeing my own words!

Many of us like to hear our own words, spoken or sung. I do too. But I also like seeing my own words on prints, scribbled, and on the monitor’s screen when I’m typing. Somehow they look neat! I like how they appear and structure themselves as I am typing. I like to see them lined up and form sentences, paragraphs, and the whole piece of essay or whatever. It feels as if they danced upon my command following the music of my inner voice. It’s an exhilarating and addictive emotion seeing them do that! It’s toxic.

I am in power! In command! That’s how I feel. (Perhaps – and I suspect it is – it’s the same emotion endured by army generals in the midst of a war or a symphonic orchestra conductor leading an ensemble of astute musicians playing a very delicate piece of classical music in a grand concert hall full of discerning audience. It’s sublime!)

[I can dwell on this description for much longer, but I think it would bore you with unnecessary hyperbolic verbousity. So let me stop here.]

Next, I also like getting published. I mean, getting myself (my thoughts, my words, my works, my personality) into public spaces. I thrive among an audience. It is an audience that makes me think, dig deep into my arsenal of munitions, and conjure tricks to seize upon their attention.

I enjoy attention. Not merely for the sake of it most of the time, but its effects on my inner mechanism. It’s like a lubricant working in a fast-moving engine – mine!

Audience and attention move me and make me realize who I am and what potentials I have. There is nothing new about it, I suppose. But with me, it’s like I don’t know what to do, or where to begin something, or how I should connect and structure ideas, knowledge, stories, etc. until I find a willing audience who would listen to me, question me, and drill me for answers.

Although blogging gives me somewhat only an imaginary audience,  potential readers who may or may not actually read what I write, who may or may not respond, let alone question or drill me for answers,  blogging gives me a sense of being ‘stared at’, of being given the attention, and therefore I must perform my best.

You can call it a ‘show off’ personality if you like. But it’s the teacher in me, an actor, a performer, a motivator, a director, or even a medium who wants to show and share what he’s got and makes a meaningful contribution to the ongoing discourses about life.

[Again, I may go on with much more verbalism here than needed. So, allow me to break it.]

The other reasons why I blog may be a bit more common though. Like any other bloggers, I’m just using the available technology to express myself. Then, I also want to leave behind a trace for the posterity that at one time there was this guy with this name. It’s a kind of a record of my existence. It will probably be also a kind of record of what I was like that I can look back to when I am old(er). In this sense, it is probably not unlike a diary. Only that it is a public one.

And yes, like you too, what I say or show in my blogs are my perspectives of the world in which I live. I am a witness of the passing time, a witness of events, of people, of history and at the same time also a participant. I don’t want to live my life sitting and watching what goes on and about around me. I too have to make the contributions, no matter how small they are, to make this world a better place. (I hope this does not sound cliche.)

I think that’s about it with me.

Other bloggers may be financially motivated. But while I don’t deny that it is an attractive aspect of professional blogging, it is not (yet) a motivation that drives me. Yes, I have made some money from my blogging activities. It’s not much though. It is even barely enough to pay for my internet service prescription costs.

So, tell me, why do you blog?


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