At The Cross Road

Arriving at a cross road without any idea where you are is bad. But helps are always there for those who are well-prepared: they can always consult a map or the GPS for a clue. Those who are not — those who are negligent in the first place — could still probably get by with making a phone call on their cell phones or asking a passer-by for direction, if they are lucky enough to get mobile signal or meet a passer-by.

However, things can get a lot worse if you have none of those. It can even become unbearably dangerous if you add other risk factors to it: distance, time, provisions, and security: you can’t simply go back because you have traveled too far to get to that point; you can’t go back because time is at risk — it’s either you arrive at the destination in time or never; you can’t go back because your vehicle’s fuel-to-distance ratio will only allow a limited number of kilometers — if you go back, you’ll never make it to where you started, let alone to your destination; you can’t go back because it’s getting dark and unsafe to retrack the roads that have brought you to this point; you can’t go back because, by this time and after driving this long, you may simply be too tired to drive safely back to where you started.

Such is the dilemma of an unprepared traveler.  And it is — sadly — what I am metaphorically experiencing at the moment. What options do I have left now (if there are any)?

I set out to make this journey on a hunch. I only had the vaguest idea of what I wanted to achieve, and nobody ever told me what I should be looking for. When the day was still young and cheerful, everything looked fine.  The adventures and discoveries I made were glorious. I went places, met new faces, and learned a lot of things that made me grow wiser. I thought it was all that is: To grow wiser and act accordingly were the virtue, the journey and the destination of life.

I was not wrong — not completely, at least. But for a life to be well-lived, adventures and chance discoveries were not enough. There needs to be a sense of direction: where you want to go and how (there are so many hows); when you plan to arrive at your destination, and whether there are any contingency plans if detours are to be made (out of necessity or otherwise); where and when you should stop — for your vehicle to refuel, and for you to recharge yourself.

Nobody ever told me all those things, and I was too ignorant with joy to pay attention to the signs posted along the way.

And now, three quarters of the journey has been made; and I am here, at a cross road with no map, no direction whatsoever about where to proceed. I hope I can find somebody I can ask, somebody to take my hand and show me the way, a shelter to give me warmth and love, a fountain of inspiration that will let me refresh and recharge — and use the wisdom I have picked up along the way — so that I may move on and complete the journey and reach my destiny.

I hope it’s not too late.


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